Dear American girls,
I have a bone to pick with you.
It is almost a guarantee that breakups will be nasty. There is usually no nice and tidy way to end a relationship. And as the emotional creatures we are we take break ups very hard. Our hearts are broken, the world is only gloom, and we will never ever find anyone that completes us like he did.
After our initial sulking phase, there seems to be this new mind set we are taking on. I'm sure you've heard it, the "Thank you for being in my life and showing me how strong I am."
Excuse me?
Now maybe your relationships have ended cleaner than mine, or maybe I am just cold hearted. But I have zero thank you's to give to any of my ex's. I don't feel that they made any great difference in my life or that I owe them any form of gratitude.
I am aware that I sound like a bitter-hearted cynic but allow me to tell you a tale....
Once upon time in a not too far away land there was a young girl that gave everyone the benefit of a doubt. She met a boy who seemed so sweet and caring...little did she know he was an insecure child. He tried to make her feel less then worthy of him, less than smart, less than special. He would disrespect, degrade and make her feel worthless, and one day she got tired of it. She finally got up the nerve to walk away from him and she vowed to never let anyone make her feel that way again....
After some time spent tending to the battle wounds, I can honestly tell you I have no thank you for this boy. You will never hear me say "Thank you for showing me how much I don't need you and how much better I am without you."
Heck no!
I am not strong because of him, I was already strong and finally overcame his grasp. I have not found new self worth, I just finally took it back. He did nothing to shape me or grow me. My God gave me worth, gave me strength, gave me fire. All this boy did was try and smother out all my qualities that intimidated him.
So l shall never mutter a thank you his way, nor will I say a good bye because frankly he is not worthy of my acknowledgement.
So just take a minuet, think about who you are. What you love about yourself and what you hate. It's all you. No one should ever make you feel like less. If someone has the power to make you feel unworthy it is only because you gave them that power. Before you get into another relationship find someone who is not intimidated by you, someone who doesn't feel the need to compete with you. Find someone that excepts your spirit and quirks and appreciates them. Those are the boys that deserve your attention and thank you's.
And I beg you. If you are in a relationship and you feel put down, empty and lifeless, without another thought about it get out. Take away their authority over you. I know it feels like they are the only one for you and if you mess it up you will be forever alone. But they are not the one for you. They do not love you, control isn't love. So send them on their way and get back to being you. And when you finally appreciate and love yourself like you deserve, then you can find a man that does the same.
